Well, I talked to the new T on Saturday and I have an appointment booked for the 9th. She sounded very nice on the phone. She asked me if I had any questions and I said no. I'll probably come up with a few in the upcoming week, but I just hate talking on the phone. I need the face-to-face interaction to make any firm judgments about anyone.

I'm worried that I'll do the same thing I did with Betty and discuss everything on an intellectual level with significant distance from uncomfortable emotions. My goal is to learn emotional intimacy, to reconnect with the world and this is my first step. I think I'm ready to take it, but I'm still worried. I think the closer the appointment gets the more worried I will get.

There is one weight off my back though. My mom has said to me she will pay 70% of the fee retroactively, if I'm doing my homework. I said, "How about if I do the homework 9 times out of 10." She said that was OK, but only if I talked to T about why I found the other 1 time out of 10 too difficult.

I really hope everything goes well.