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Nov 03, 2009, 06:11 PM
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Member Since: Sep 2009
Posts: 369
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vickie in Phoenix
Hi SickOfMe,
We welcome you here at PsychCentral. Please know that we care very much about what's happening in your life.
You did a terrific job of laying your life out in just a few paragraphs. It was amazingly concise. What I'm going to tell you is going to be short and sweet. I'll first give you a little of my background and then tell you what impression I got when I read your post.
I am 57 years old. I have spent the better part of my life reading books, researching in the library (remember, the internet wasn't around for a while), talking to therapists, inpatient in psychiatric wards, outpatient in psychotherapy groups, reading research papers on the internet, reading medical journals and textbooks, studying psychotropic medications and talking to fellow patients and attending support groups. My diagnoses are: bipolar disorder, childhood physical abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, and adult child of alcoholic parents. Thanks to forums like this one, I have had the privilege of knowing some of the most learned patients in the world with regard to their own serious mental illnesses.
OK. What I have learned is this: both you and your wife are in high stress jobs. That and of itself creates one set of problems. Also, people who tend to gravitate toward the line of work you both are in usually have had childhood environments that were high stress, producing adrenaline dependence. Both you and your wife picked helping occupations. Your father was a police officer and an alcoholic which is a double whammy. As a child, you did not know what to expect from your father as far as his mood and were often probably nervous or frightened in anticipation of the exchange between he and your mother. This results in a form of PTSD. The effects of PTSD last a very long time unless dealt with specifically. It could easily be contributing to your current mood disorder along with the problems with your wife. She has her own scenario going on. I don't even want to get started on her issues. The communication between the two of you needs to improve and unless she becomes aware of the need to address her own issues, things will stall. Therapy at least for you would help tremendously.
I hope this at least helps a little.
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I echo Vicki, but as you hang around here, you will find I usually do.
I would suggest you not only see a marriage therapist, but an individual one too. It wouldn't hurt be re-evaluated by a pdoc (PC short-hand for psychiatrist) since some anti-depressants helped (so suggests the gal who had taken 3 MMPI's by the time she was 25...) Even if you get back on medication, therapy will help. (Most people are most successfull with a combination of meds and therapy). Also look into meditation classes, relaxation techniques and remember to take time for yourself! As Vicki said, you two are in high stress careers!
Look into hobbies. Think of things you LIKE to do, not compelled to do. I understand as when I am off (usually medication adjustments) I get a "touch" OCD. Maybe look into something that isn't helping others. You do this EVERYWHERE else in your life, be a little "selfish". I know it's hard, I am only now getting to the point where I am recognizing when I need to take care of me. (I am also a "caregiver" type, I call it "Mom syndrome", where I can't just mother my children).
It sounds like you have a really good handle on your self-awareness and of those around you. Just keep in mind you are worth your help too! Hope this helps! 
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