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Nov 03, 2009, 06:32 PM
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Member Since: Sep 2009
Posts: 369
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ginanursing
My girlfriend wants to be friends with her ex. girlfriend. I want to support this but I want there to be limits for sure. However I think she needs time because right now it is still almost like a NEED to see and/or talk to her. The ex and I do not like each other at all. I know emotions are still there. Advice?
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I think you showed great insight here. You aren't TOTALLY opposed to it, but you recognize her possible co-dependency. You have a right to ask for those limits.
When D (husband of 12 years) and I met, he was BFFs with his ex-girlfriend from high school and they had a "torrid" history. While he was ok with limits, she was not and pushed them all the time. I eventually got to a place where I had to accept it or walk away. (BTW, in the end, she ended up crossing the line by threatening me when she, in an alcoholic delusion, wrongly thought I had hit on her husband. Ironic, since she had offered mine sex during my high risk pregnancy with our first daughter, her god-daughter!)
If your comfort level isn't there, be honest about that. Just think out how you are going to present this to your GF, as you don't want to get her defensive.
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