((((((( Berries! )))))))

I'm involved in a long-term, painfully slow, plodding self-assessment of why my depression is so intractable. Here are a few quick thoughts about myself that may be useful to you (to ponder or reject) as you ask questions about your own self (this is all tentative, mind you):

Somewhere along the line my “psychological boundary strength” collapsed, or perhaps never developed properly. That is, my ability to separate my inner self from the messages sent by others is defective. I “catch” other people's feelings, real or perceived, and incorporate them into my self. Those messages become a part of my reality, of my self-perception.

“Normal” people can recognize feelings projected/sent by others without letting those feelings penetrate the psychological defenses surrounding their inner selves. My defenses have been breached or are simply not working; I absorb others' feelings into my self.

You can imagine the practical results of such a situation. Say someone around me is angry, and not even angry at me. It doesn't matter at whom or what their anger is directed; I pick up their anger, I become responsible for it and I blame myself (and possibly form a suppressed anger at the angry one).

The solution: build/rebuild my “psychological boundary strength” ...