(((((Thank you all ))))

Thank you all for your support and your words of encouragement. I wish I could say things were better. I have to say that I am feeling very overwhelmed. If it could just be true that this is something of the past. Something not happening now. But truth be known it is not over.

I have been living a nightmare for years. It has now come back to haunt me. Only the nightmare is real not a dream. I am scared and I am lost. I feel trapped and overwhelmed with emotions I cannot even begin to express.

I have lost so much time. And things just do not make sense. So much is happening within and without. I cannot sleep or eat. My nerves are shot and I find no rest. My eyes burn from tears that will not fall. There are no meds that can help with what is going on. I do not even understand what is happening.

I cannot think or concentrate. The others within are trying so hard to pick up the pieces that I cannot seem to gather. Words still do not come and frustration at not being able to put into words what I need to say. I feel alone and like no one can reach me. I feel no one can hear me and what I am trying so desperately to say.

I find myself thinking things that are not really my thoughts nor do I know how to stop them. I am fighting and trying but it feels as though I am being pulled under in quick sand. I am screaming help but no one can hear. As it is silently echoing back. And it is not anyone's fault. For I know not what to really say when I do not understand it myself.

Somehow I wish someone could read what it is I am not saying. But how can they when I do not even know how to say it. Everyday it takes all I have to walk another step. I am shutting down and I am scared. I know this does not really make any sense. And I am sorry. I am trying...........

I better go as I feel I am not worthy of even being here and I am sorry I have not really said anything yet I have said it all.

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