Quote:
Originally Posted by musicislife07
I am a 16 year old boy in the 10th grade. Ever since I was 13 in the 7th grade, I have been slowly becoming more and more depressed. For about a year it lessened greatly, and about a month ago it started to come back. It is worse than it has ever been. Not only am I completely angry at myself (I spend at least 30 minutes a day yelling at myself), I also am scared of other people. When I go to school, I find it hard to trust people or talk to them because I know they don't like me. Though people say they are my friend, their actions say otherwise.
Also, I have been working since the 7th grade to build an emotional wall. I seem to be the happiest person you could ever meet, but this is extremely fake. I don't want other people to notice me, worry about me or even pretend to worry about me, so I make it seem like everything in my life is great.
|
Hi. reading your post giving me a flashback when i was your age. i started to feel weird about myself since i was 13, i didnt know anything about depression at the time, but the symptoms kept giving me the clue. i am so much like you, sometimes i yelled to nothing, screaming to nothing, talk to myself, i dont do great in school-socialize, and i also seem to be like a happy person too, even once a friend of mine give me a nickname "Mr. Smile" cause i always smile and i have a big smile, but the truth is its very dark inside me.
Im 25 now, the depressed still wont go away. you're still young, enjoy your moment, i know how hard it is to cope with a depression and all, but just try. somehow i still had my great time too back in school years, eventho yeah i spent most of my time at home thinking about how loser & weirdo i am and sometimes i cant control my urge to kill someone or even myself, pretty messed up. and now to be honest, i hate everything about school, cause i have lots of bad memories there.
you dont want bad memories, so build the good memories starting now. keep strong