(((((DPS)))))

My dear friend. Take hold of my hand. I will not let you fall or sink. You do so much for so many people and your words mean more than you could ever know. You really are a wonderful spirit and I'm very happy to have met you.

I know somewhat of how you feel, though I haven't experienced what caused this for you. Sometimes it just seems like we're slipping away, going numb, falling back behind our walls in trying to protect ourselves, only we don't know who we are enough to know how to keep us safe. It is so hard at times and we always seem to want/have to keep a good face so others never know of our pain. Why should we burden them with it? I feel this way at times and then I realize, we humans really are here to love and care for one another. In early history, we foraged and hunted together so our family units would live. If one person was injured, the others would help. As our lives have become more complicated and people are kept apart by non-natural political, religious, cultural, racial, socio-economic boundaries, we've lost many of the things we once had that allowed our species to survive and propagate.

I know how it feels to want to cry and the tears don't fall outside but inside you feel empty and the soul weeps for you being the happy person you may have been as a child or in a recollection of a fleeting moment when things seemed right with the world. So many of us (though myself not included) had the innocence and joy of childhood ripped from us by other sick individuals. Unfortunately there is nothing that can bring back that innocence and wonder and happiness but we can try to find little bits of that in our daily lives. Do you remember how you felt when you saw a butterfly or flower for the first time. How did the roses smell? How did you feel when you wore your first cute dress? How were Halloween costumes? Later on how did you feel when you saw each of your children's faces for the very first time? When they put their heads to your chest and fell asleep? I hope the questions are not too personal and I asked them not for a response, but for a gently loving reminder to recall them for yourself my friend. Try to get that magic back if only for a moment and I believe you will feel your heart lift and out of the mud, a lotus blossom will arise.

There is a quote that I really love and it's from a movie of all places but it goes:
You are never alone even in the darkest of times DPS. My heart shall always been with you and every single one of those here on this site I've met, those I haven't met, and every other being in this world who suffers. I weep for you all in the hopes that it takes your tears away so you can have a simple smile.

Be well my dear and hugs if you don't mind.

Chris