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lynn P. · 10:58 AM

I would only resort to cutting him off if it becomes apparant that the relationship is toxic - I don't think it's reached that point for you. The reason I say this is because alienation from family members is very painful. Of course I wouldn't advocate maintaining a relationship if there's been physical or emotional abuse.

I think you should tell him how you feel - but not in a blaming or arguing way. I know you're struggling but I also think you need to look at his point of view also. I think he's also struggling with his own feelings about your MI - maybe he's feels scared or sad. I had a brother who was manic depressive and it's very hard to see a family member suffer. I also think he's struggling with the divorce - he might think you're choosing sides just because you live with your mom. I think you really want to stay connected to your father - so he needs to know that you still want him in your life even though he's not married to your mom. Your mom also needs to be diplomatic and not taint your relationship either. You should make it clear to both your parents that you love them despite their divorce. He's probably not the best communicator and feels it's easier just to withdraw. It's easier to have a nice talk with him compared to the sadness you would feel from no contact at all. It's very hard on holidays to be alienated - not good for you.

If he came to see your plays in college maybe he did brag about you to other people and you don't know. I don't think what's happening or not happening is from you Berries - I just think your dad is dealing with his own issues and doesn't know any better. Also most(not all)men are not good at remembering special occasions like birthdays. Talk to him nicely, tell him what would makes things better and let him know that you still want him in your life even though he's not with your mom. Best of luck and try not to take things personal.