Hi folks,

I'm not sure that I can be much help here, but I'm going to play the 'eternal optimist' card.

IMHO we do a lot of generalising when it comes to the opposite sex, and I have done my fair share of sympathising with women in general,or at times even hating them in general. Thinking in generalities messes me up. Bringing bad past experiences into the present really messes me up.

I believe that when you meet someone that you like you don't want to generalise at all, you just see a person in front of you, someone that you like. I believe that it is fatal to bring preconceptions and baggage into a fresh situation, and often this kills new opportunities. Pain in the past came from someone else, and a new person is a new and different person.

That's what I believe anyway, but it's hard to put into practise. When I met my present wife (who I love very much) it was two years before I started to trust her intentions. That's because the first wife gutted me, and I couldn't see past that. I was too busy waiting to get hurt again.

Cheers, M - optimistic.