(((((Blue))))),

Your post is sad, insightful, and poignant. It is so sad that you learned such negative messages during your childhood. I wish I could erase all of that bad stuff for you so you could start over.

I think it takes time, and lots of therapy. We on PC could say how wonderful you are, and how much you deserve to be loved, but will you believe us? With the help of ftt, I think you will be able to unlearn some of those past messages and replace them with positive ones.

Something simple that I do when I remember is to smile at yourself when you look in the mirror, and even say "I love you" to yourself. Sounds silly, but it helps me.

You're worthy of loving yourself just because you're you. I'm going to PM something about it.