I don't know where or how to start. I really don't like talking about myself.....come to think of it, I really don't like talking.
I've had depression for as long as I can remember, but was dx officially almost 13 years ago. I am currently trying to decide whether I should be doing meds; it was strongly recommended. When I was first dx, I was on meds for 3 years, but did not feel they were working. I was recently dx also with AvPD or Avoidant Personality Disorder which I am still trying to understand what it is. There isn't much about it; maybe everyone is trying to avoid talking about it.
It's been a really bad year. It started with losing my job, I job I hated, in Jan. but it was a complete shock to me. I was overqualified for it; yet I am there no more. I took it very personal. Others keep telling me it's the economy and so many others are out of work, but it still hurts. In March, my father started undergoing treatment for prostate cancer. I'm not close to my parents so in a way it made it harder. In April I started having health issues. I don't do doctors so I just try to deal each day. I started feeling a bit better in May until my dog attacked and killed my cat one night. In less than a week I lost my cat of 9 years and my dog of 8. I don’t sleep at night and can’t stand being awake during the day. It’s an endless loop of misery and dispair each day. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no motivation to do anything anymore.