The questions you asked are the basis for ending my marriage, so I've been thinking about these things quite a bit lately.

1. I don't feel that I have to do anything to get validation. Just being with the person & having him respect my abilities, my intelligence, my values, & not trying to make me something I'm not...but accept me for what I am is what I consider validation.

2. I want a person who is mature, responsible, intelligent, educated, confident without an over inflated ego or bragging. Not living in his past but living in the present for what he is now. Taking responsibility for the things that happen in his life without excuses or believing that life just happens & he has no control over what happens to him. Not trying to make me something I'm not. Share 50/50 responsibilities. My opinions, ideas, suggestions, are as valuable as his. I am an equal. I want a person that I can enjoy doing things with, laugh with initially & if the relation grows, be able to share emotions with.

3. Money must be equal & he must be completely financially responsible. Credit has its place but not to make impressions on people.

4. I will not under any circumstances support any man!!!!!!!!! Nor will I accept him supporting me!!!!!!!

5. Attractive to the opposite sex is not that important to me. By default, I am rather grungy around my horses & I spend most of my time there. I try to be colour coordinated with no holes...which is an accomplishment. I like nice looking cloths when I am away from the ranch but it is hard to find cloths small enough without shopping in the juniors department. At the age of 52, sometimes I feel strange dressing like a teen-ager....sometimes it's ok. Bottom line is....I am attractive to my horses & that is really what counts....I gotta say, I don't look to bad in my dressage show cloths even if they are black & white.

6. I could care less about sexy women....never have. I have always felt that what is inside is more important than the sexy look....not that I don't try to look attractive too. The sexy look just isn't me.

7. I think physical attraction is the first step toward wanting to know someone but isn't the ost important thing....intelligence has been my most important charactistic. I have always been attracted to that my whole life because of needing someone that could be my equal.

This was really a good chance to actually put down what I have been thinking for so long....rather appreciated the chance to do that. I have always seemed to be walking down a different path than most women I know & not many seem to relate to my ideas...but thanks for the chance to express my ideas.

Debbie