It seems like the lesbian "culture" is very butch, athletic, where drinking, smoking, and sex are prominent. In gay men it seems like sex, drugs (party drugs), smoking, drinking, and feminine characteristics (lisps?) are all over the place. I do not fit into the lesbian scene, but I'm not especially feminine. But not many can tell if I am gay just by looking at me and I don't like blatantly stating it or even admitting it (ashamed). I also do not want to smoke or drink or be around those that do, and I am not sexually active and probably will save myself. Another problem for me is that I do not relate well to butch females and I am not attracted to them either, so this complicates my "relationship" with my glbt community. Many of my male friends used to feel like they don't fit into the gay man's community but sadly they have started to change themselves just to fit in. Also bisexuals I have heard, feel like they are not straight enough for the straight community and not gay enough for the gay community. What I want to say is that you should not change who you are to try to fit in with the group stereotypes or what you seem to be the way a lesbian/gay man "looks/acts".