Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamseeker9
Blue, I am so sorry.  Those beliefs are deep, and they are painful. It will indeed take a lot of hard to work to change them, but you can change them - you are worth changing them!!! |
In many ways, you are my inspiration
Quote:
I definitely struggle with many of those beliefs. I often feel like I don't deserve to be loved - I don't even know where that feeling comes from. It's old and it's there, and it's real. 
|
This is very powerful for me. It is old, it is real and it is there. I cannot pretend that I dont feel this way about myself on a very deep level. My life story screams that this is how I feel about myself. It IS time to do this work and I probably want to do it because I have no idea what I am getting into.
Quote:
|
I have a lot coming up for me now, as you know, feelings from my childhood. I'm trying to remember how that child felt, how the feelings were pure and how my little self was so hurt by so many things that built up over the years, how all she wanted was not to be left alone and to be loved and to be held and to be comforted... instead, she was rewarded for her good behavior by being left alone more and was given more responsibility at too young of an age (9). I am so sad for that little girl, I cried for that little girl in my last session - I didn't even know that I had those deep feelings until they came up last session. My point is that you will figure out how these beliefs originated, and you will figure out (with ftt's help) how to change these beliefs.
|
Dream, I feel so sorry for her, too. It wasnt the way she should have been cared for. She should have been free to not have the pressure to be good or be gone. And she was groomed to be good, so she could take the burden off of everyone else? I want to hug her, too. I can SO understand your t! She is a smart girl who grew up as deserving and lovable as you are despite the abusive treatment.
Quote:
We are all precious, and we all matter... and one day, we will all know that it's true. 
|
I hope so, Dream. I can SO see it for you and I can SO see it for Tree. But I am trusting that you to see it for me