I feel like I'm going crazy.

I have almost completely alienated myself from my friends and family, yet I still crave some sort of companionship most of the time. I just have nothing to talk about except my illness...because that's what my life has become.

I always need something to distract me from having to think about my reality and how I feel like I've wasted the best years of my life being depressed. I feel like I'm wasting my life away even now.

If I'm not reading, then I'm writing, or I watch TV, or nap, or drink, or smoke, or JUST DO SOMETHING to distract my thoughts away from the feelings I have for myself and my situation.

I don't feel like there's anybody I know who can understand what it's like to have depression. My friends try, but they don't understand that it's a long road to recovery, that I can't just "snap out of it" and be myself again. I don't want to put that burden on them. My family is there for me, but it feels like for financial support only, since I can't take care of myself anymore. I don't feel like I can talk to them because they don't support me in my other endeavors, but it's all related to my self-esteem and confidence.

I feel anxious, tired, lost, confused, angry, overwhelmed, and hopeless all at the same time.

I feel the lump in my throat like I'm going to cry again, which is all I seem to do lately.

I feel like someone has stuffed gauze in my mouth, taking away my ability to speak about what I'm feeling.

Here I am, in my late twenties, and I can't even take care of myself. I feel like a failure.