In last session T told me that she looks forward to meeting with me. I was silent, and she looked me in the eye and said, "you don't believe it, do you."
I said "difficult", but that wasn't really true, I should have just said, "no".

Whenever I hear from T that I will have to learn to re-parent myself, learn to forgive myself, learn to challenge my avoidance, learn to nurture myself, from within I sense that there is such a SILENCE that it's scary. No response. And, not surprisingly, not much change coming from me so far.

I have a feeling that soon T will begin suggesting some concrete changes to make, and yes I can do them, but it will be like teaching a dog to pee on the paper instead of on the carpet - I will just be doing them, not changing from inside.
Scared.......