reddragon: i dont kno why the feelings and voices getting worse...

Here's a few possibilities you could consider reddragon

- Stress: If people are feeling more stressed than usual sometimes they notice their voices becoming more active.

- Medication: If there has been a change to any medications you might be taking, sometimes this can have an effect on voice activity. For example, if people have been taking anti-psychotic medication and they come off suddenly, that can produce a relapse.

There may be other reasons that I'm not aware of but that's two possibilities.

i have become more hostile lately and find it hard to calm myself, hard to explain online and hard to talk to anyone.

You can always come and talk to the people here, reddragon. I wish you had some people in your face-to-face life you could talk to about these things as well. I know you've had difficulty trying to find some good doctors or other support people you could work with. I know too that you don't want to take medication or go to a hospital and that does often leave you trying to figure this out on your own.

You have to make your own choices of course but if you're feeling really desperate, maybe you could try talking to a doctor -- someone different that you haven't spoken with before. Sometimes it goes better with someone new. Some towns/cities have crisis hotlines you can call as well and just talking to someone on the phone might help you.

Some basic advice that may also be helpful is to try and ensure you get adequate sleep and meals. Also, make use of any calming techniques you've found to be helpful.

This link also has some information about coping with hearing voices. Maybe there'll be something there that will help you: intervoiceonline.org: Coping with Voices

I hope things get a bit easier for you, reddragon. In the interim, please take good care of yourself.

~ Namaste