Thread: Loving myself
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Old Nov 05, 2009, 12:36 PM
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BlueMoon6 BlueMoon6 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge View Post
In last session T told me that she looks forward to meeting with me. I was silent, and she looked me in the eye and said, "you don't believe it, do you."
I said "difficult", but that wasn't really true, I should have just said, "no".

Whenever I hear from T that I will have to learn to re-parent myself, learn to forgive myself, learn to challenge my avoidance, learn to nurture myself, from within I sense that there is such a SILENCE that it's scary. No response. And, not surprisingly, not much change coming from me so far.
There is something about this silence that I relate to very much. I may have answered my t the same way. It is a shock to my automatic responses when I am being challenged on their "automatic-ness." Such as the automatic silence when I would automatically, without much thought, deeply wonder if t could really and truly be looking forward to seeing me. Id feel like, why would she look forward to seeing me?

Quote:
I have a feeling that soon T will begin suggesting some concrete changes to make, and yes I can do them, but it will be like teaching a dog to pee on the paper instead of on the carpet - I will just be doing them, not changing from inside.
Scared.......
Its scary, but SAWE, Id love to hear about the changes and what you are trying to make
.......and it couldnt be any worse than teaching a toddler to pee and poop on the potty (especially when she hands me her "creation" while Im posting on PC!).....sorry.....just had to say that
Thanks for this!
Simcha