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Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
In last session T told me that she looks forward to meeting with me. I was silent, and she looked me in the eye and said, "you don't believe it, do you."
I said "difficult", but that wasn't really true, I should have just said, "no".
Whenever I hear from T that I will have to learn to re-parent myself, learn to forgive myself, learn to challenge my avoidance, learn to nurture myself, from within I sense that there is such a SILENCE that it's scary. No response. And, not surprisingly, not much change coming from me so far.
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There is something about this silence that I relate to very much. I may have answered my t the same way. It is a shock to my automatic responses when I am being challenged on their "automatic-ness." Such as the automatic silence when I would automatically, without much thought, deeply wonder if t could really and truly be looking forward to seeing me. Id feel like, why would she look forward to seeing me?
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I have a feeling that soon T will begin suggesting some concrete changes to make, and yes I can do them, but it will be like teaching a dog to pee on the paper instead of on the carpet - I will just be doing them, not changing from inside.
Scared.......
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Its scary, but SAWE, Id love to hear about the changes and what you are trying to make
.......and it couldnt be any worse than teaching a toddler to pee and poop on the potty (especially when she hands me her "creation" while Im posting on PC!).....sorry.....just had to say that
