Hi TB, so glad you are back with us.

Have a couple questions for you. Is your mamaw religious? I don't mean church going, I mean does she believe in God? My grandmother buried three daughters and her husband. Honest to God, I don't know how she did it. But, she somehow realized that it was part of the great scheme of things and she had to go on for the living. She had been raised a Catholic but wasn't one after marriage. But she still believed that there was heaven and that everyone went there and it was glorious and that her daughters and husband were waiting there, happy, and would meet her there when her time came. When here time did come, I was there and she did say that she saw them and they were going to take her to heaven.

Perhaps you could talk to your mamaw and tell her that your mother dying was simply part of God's great plan and we all are born and we all die and go to a better place. She will see your mother again. In the meantime, there are so many still here who need her. If your mother were looking down, would she want your mamaw to neglect everyone else and be mourning her? Would she want your mamaw to be wasting away, not taking care of herself and not doing for others? Have you tried talking to her about these kinds of things? All we have is what we have here and now. We can't waste it. Of course she misses her dearly. So do you and so does everyone. But life goes on and we have to take care of each other. You can tell her how mad your mother would be to see her sitting around being sorry about everything. Now, your mother is very wise, now that she's in heaven. And she knows that time's a wastin'.

Depression first takes hold by neglecting one's personal hygene. Help her make sure that she has clean clothes and bathes regularly. Make sure she washes her hair. If there is anything special she does, like putting on lipstick or perfume, encourage her to do that every day. Doing personal hygene things seem trivial but they are not for a depressed person. They are a big deal. Start there. After she starts doing that regulary, start with one simple housekeeping task each day. Only one. Then build from there. Gradually she will begin to come out of it. She has to learn that it is OK to live in spite of your mother's death.

I hope this has helped a little.