((((((((Berries)))))))))

I know where you're coming from. Sometimes I feel like I AM this illness instead of "I HAVE this illness." But an illness can't feel. An illness can't be sympathetic, empathetic, caring, kind, warm-hearted, frightened, discouraged, confused or hurt. An illness doesn't suffer, it causes suffering. An illness can't worry about being an illness. An illness has no humanity. An illness is pure cause and effect -- you are so much more. You are as multi-faceted as anyone else.

Maybe you could try not putting so much pressure on yourself to "be" anything. It helps for me, sometimes. I will wake up in the morning and think, "I don't want to do anything. I don't care about anything. I am not anything in particular, but that's okay, I'll just be." It sounds a little corny but if you're just ... THERE, instead of worrying about WHY you're there or what purpose it serves or how long you're going to stay, and just follow your impulses instead of any preconceived notions ... maybe you'll become something without even realizing it.