You want to be close to him, but your afraid of getting hurt so you keep him at arms length...hence the angry outbursts...is this right? I would tell your husband how you feel and let him know its your issue and has nothing to do with him. The last thing you want to do is lose him because of your anger, because he will get tired of it. My wife does the same thing with me. She uses anger as a way to "protect" herself. Can you see a therapist? Is there a reason why your afraid of letting him get close? did you get hurt in a past relationship or suffer abuse as a child? Just some thoughts...best wishes on your situation.