I'm glad you wrote this and got your feelings out. Often times it makes it so much easier to deal with. Just know you're not alone in your feelings, even as isolating at they make things seem. I've had similar questions. It's also understandable to want acknowledgment in relationships. We want to think our bf/gf loves and values us. Unfortunately the validation HAS to come from within ourselves and looking outside for it, you'll never find it. It took me a long time and lots of pain to realize that.

Try to do things on your own that you find some enjoyment in. You could also join some like-minded club or do some volunteer work, whatever brings you some satisfaction.

I'm sorry I don't have many more words of advice or comfort for you except to say that you have strength. I can see it even in what you write. You must utilize your own internal strength to get you through this initial being alone stage so you are happy with yourself, then when the right person does enter your life, you'll be on equal footing.

I wish you well and hope your heart feels a little happy..


Chris