hi jmo,

first off, i'm real sorry of what you are going through. All the fears and such. I can definatly relate to that. it's horrible. I use to have panic attacks about 10 times a day before getting on the right meds.

You said you weren't sure if this was the right place to post, and i was having a bit of trouble understanding what you meant by paranoia. So i guess I'm just curious to know more about what you mean by your fears/paranoias. Generally, when someone with schizophrenia has paranoia, it mostly has to do with fears/mistrust of other people and there motives . For example, i have paranoid schizophrenia, and when im paranoid, i believe such things like, the government spying on me, scanning my brian, people reading my mind, being followed by the spies and cops and killers, people decieving me, that people are wearing disquizes, etc.
I know you stated that you have trouble trusting others, and that can deffinatly be concidered paranoia , because the deffinition of paranoia is: extream, irrational mistrust of others.
....Sorry if i'm sounding really technical, im just trying to do the best to help you .

also, if you feel like your meds are making things worse, your really should tell your doctor about that. How long have you been taking them and what meds are they? you might need an adjustment in the dose, or just a new medication all together.

i hope i didn't confuse you or anything. i really hope that you get better soon. Good luck

-Becka

p.s
i love the snoopy signing your name. My sister would especially love that! she is obsessed over snoopy and collects anything having to do with him.