Pleased to meet you, Elysium. You have chosen an interesting moniker, one that means: a place or condition of ideal happiness, or, in Greek mythology, the abode of the blessed after death.

Aside from the irony, the moniker you choose tells me you are a curious and clever person. The quote at the end of your post tells me you have a sense of humor. Most people who are curious and clever with a sense of humor would not be so down on themselves.

Perhaps your inventory of yourself needs to be revised to include more of the good qualities you have? You may need even more light to focus on what is good and lovable about you?

Peace be with you and good luck.