My first husband was a very nice, gentle man from a very nice, gentle Christian family. He was good looking, had a good sense of humor, was generally in a good mood, went to church, was generous, liked having fun, loved me to pieces, and bored me to death. It got to where I was so bored that I would pick fights with him to liven things up a little. I could tell that he did not want to fight with me and he was not very good at it. I could never figure out why I would pick fights with him. I eventually had an affair (something I never believed in and have never done since) and divorced him. This turned out to be the kindest thing I could have ever done for him.

The problem was, I grew up in with alcoholic parents. Our household was never calm and we never knew what to expect from our parents so we became used to the upset and the adrenaline rush from not knowing what was going to happen next. My marriage couldn't compare to that. So I had to create the chaos.

Do you think this has anything to do with why you do what you do with your husband? It's just a suggestion. I might be way off base.