Thanks Lonegael. I don't really think my expectations are in any way outrageous. I knew her for a long time and thought I knew her as a person. I suppose it was a bit foolish of me, since everyone keeps some secrets to themself, and her reacting this way must have been one of her secrets.

I'm trying to look past it, I'm trying to just focus on myself. I know that there are plenty of other women out there, and when I'm ready again, maybe I'll find one for me. But for now, I think I need to leave any sort of romantic relationship alone and just try to fix and improve myself.

Went on a job interview in NYC today, for an advertising agency. It went ok I guess, but I was honestly pretty intimidated by some of the other people working there and the bravado they put on. This isn't like me, I'm usually the type of person who can see a guy in a suit and tie, gold watch, etc etc and not have the least bit of intimidation by him. I'm the type of guy who has more respect for a person who's not wearing the fanciest clothes, not making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, but is living an honest life. Today I felt like some of the things that she has said to me over the past few weeks have really taken a stab at my character, and I hate feeling like I'm less than someone because he has a nice suit on.

I went to the Yankee parade also while I was in the city, and it was nice to socialize with people even though I wasn't really being myself and I think they could sense it, even though I just met them.

This forum is helping me get by quite a bit, I'm trying to give back how I can but I feel like a bit of a hypocrite giving someone else advice while I can barely handle myself at the moment.