Setback: an unfortunate happening that hinders or impedes; something that is thwarting or frustrating.

You have experienced a setback. To equate a setback to emotional death seems to be the product of frustration. A setback is not permanent, unless you choose to stop striving to be the person you want to be.

Self-loathing helps your situation how? Hating takes energy better used to reach your goals. You have a good heart and care a lot. Give yourself a break.

I apologize for being preachy. I wish you luck.