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Old Nov 07, 2009, 12:41 PM
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turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
I hate being unable to do stuff I want to do because my body stops me from doing it.

I hate watching my boyfriend toil at the stove while I can't help him because i feel weak, faint, and my arm muscles hurt such that it's so hard to chop things. I did some, I cleaned dishes, I did the dishwasher and cleaned the counters. But I can't make a simple meal for him (he's sick too).

Hate being discriminated against by school for having a mental disorder.

I hate not being able to go to work... losing out on half a week's pay because I'm sick.

I hate not being able to practice because of the pain in my arms and the trembling in my body.

I hate hurting my friends. I hate having to hide. I hate WANTING to curl up in bed in a ball and hide hide hide....



I WANT to be able to do nice things for people. I WANT to be able to take care of myself. I WANT to go hide now.
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Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.