I know, that's why I'm going to see my counsellor as soon as I can because I have a lot to talk about. I just keep getting run down and ill again and again. I've lost 6lbs this week because of stress, illness, feeling run down and generally just not being physically or mentally healthy.

I'm tired, lethargic, mentally exhausted, hot and cold flushes, weak, aching and just feel fed up. Last night I lost all concentration and sanity and cut myself on my door by accident because I almost collapsed and I caused Connor to want to kill himself, which meant I smashed my head on the cabinet in an effort to get everything harmful out of his way... I was sensible and asked a friend to call me, even though what I was saying was barely audible. She helped a hell of a lot and eventually I stopped crying. That's the first time in years that I've cried to anyone other than Connor.

We've sorted it out now and are just taking each day as it comes and I'm planning ahead ways to sort this out for us.