Quote:
Originally Posted by jexa
We kept going back and forth, and I ended up saying, straight up, "Please, just TELL me to do them!" And she said, "Jessica, that is the LAST thing I'm going to do."  And that was the end of the session. |
How frustrating!
I have gotten this kind of a response and was NOT happy. From dt
But I would wonder why she didnt delve into what might be preventing you from taking charge and why that is hard. Frustration or not on t's part, it looks like an opportunity to go deeper.
Quote:
I know what she wants is for me to take charge of my treatment and lead it in the direction I need to go.
I can't. I am so pathetic. But I can't do this.
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I SO know that feeling of "I cant" and t saying "yes you can, you dont want to."
Maybe you have some idea of why it is hard for you to "take charge" or whatever it is that may be in the way of you moving onto the exposure heirarchy. If you can't, there must be something in the way. No? It felt to me very dismissive and invalidating to hear that I could just "do it" when I felt I couldnt. And just more of the same invalidation that caused the problems in the first place when I am given the message that I am just not trying hard enough.
[qoute]I want to quit T. I want to quit life. I'm never going to get better because I am a pathetic, lazy person completely lacking in self-control. I am obviously just not trying hard enough. I am wasting my time. I am wasting my money. I must not want this enough. Or maybe no one can help me.[/quote]
I like Dream's suggestion to print the post and read it to her. It is sad to me to hear you invalidate yourself when you say you must not want this enough or call yourself other names. Can you say something to t about the way you have been feeling?
I dont think you are lazy and or lack self-control at all. I think you are struggling and may need t to take another approach than, "the last thing I am going to do is tell you to do them." When I am in that spot, it is because something is in the way, some block, some feeling about myself or the particluar thing I am to do. That is why we are in therapy, right? To get help for the deeper things in the way of success.
I know you can do this, Jexa, and go further. You are bright and insightful and very motivated.
Hugs to you
