Hi,

I have a family problem that I need adivce with.

My sister-in-law is the problem. Currenlty she lives with us at home, although we are trying to help her become independent. My wife and her sister do not get along at all, to the point where my wife has stopped having conversations with her.

The trouble is my sis-in-law is not "normal". She has many signs of depressive behavior. She keeps to herself, rarely socializes, has very little interest in hobbies, no real long term goals. She has no ambitions whatsoever. She was married (it was an arranged marriage by her parents) but trouble started on the wedding night, and 6 months later they were divorced. She has has this annoying habit of avoiding people. When I come into a room in which she is in, she immediately starts moving away to the farthest corner of the room. When she has no choice but to be close to someone when they are talking, she covers he mouth with her hand reflexively. She is increadibly self-concious about herself and avoids people.

She is not dumb, but she is lazy and does not work hard when she gets a job. She is here in the US on a work visa, and is working for a contracting company as a software engineer, but has been unable to keep a job for more than 2 months.

Anyways, that is a little background. My feeling after knowing her for quite a while is that she requires some kind of psychiatric therapy. I think she has some serious depression issues, although they are not debilitating. However, her family is from a country where Mental health is not viewed the same way as here in the US, and they insist she is normal and would never consider a psyhciatrist. What further complicates this is that my sister-in-law thinks she is "perfect" and has no interest in self-help, and would probably avoid any kind of mental health evaluation or treatment.

How can I get her evaluated and helped in this kind of situation, where her family and she herself is against it? Is there anything I can do? Right now she is a big burden on the family, because she cannot keep a job and is interrupting her parents lives and our lives. I don't mind helping her out, but I see her being a burden for the rest of our lives.

I think that it is possible that with medication, she could remove some of the depressive symptoms and hopefully open her up more, but I think she needs therapy as well.

Can anyone offer advice in this area? I can provide more details if necessary.