Catherine,
Choices haunt me as well, Before I went over I was a firefighter/EMT
I would go home from the worst of days and have little problems sleeping
Because I knew I had done my very best to ease the pain of others, save
The ones I could
Even over there it initially helped to keep that in my heart.
I did my very best
I am broken because I did my very best to cause hurt to the enemy
The sights, sounds, smells haunt me
I try to hold what was good and pure
but it feels false, tainted

My kids see the mask but accept it, not knowing what it hides, and they
Are happy doing so... who am I to kill there innocence and remove the mask