It hurts bad right now................... my heart feels empty and hollow and yet l still know and feel that this must be done for me and my children. They love him, l know that...............l just hope that he doesnt try to use them in his battle with me!!!! l have to look at the bigger picture for their future too..............l know that somehow l will end up the bad person in all this and that is because l know that l wont throw at him what he has done to me for many years and l also wont tell the whole world the things that are locked inside of me.............. it would achieve nothing except for more hurt and right now l just cant and wont do that but then hey who knows a woman scorned and all that but unfortunately its not in my nature to throw the dirt so l guess that there will be many family and friends who only ever hear his side of it......... but right now l dont care about that just me and the kids thats all

I want to try to feel whole, find out who l really am, love and protect my children, guide them down the right path away from hrt and abuse so they dont always think it is the norm!!!!!

This action is for me and l feel totally selfish.................for once in my 43 years this is about ME..............I have to do this else l will be dead and not by his hands either.

thank you for your replies it warms my heart that someone at least replied to this bad sad feeling inside of me right now as l walk away from 14 years of my life



mandy xx