I hear, darkpurplesecrets. There is nothing wrong with being human. Scared and alone is difficult.

About the fear, the following is from a card I carry with me for coping with anxiety and panic. Perhaps it may be of benefit.

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.

2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.

3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.

4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.

5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.

6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.

7. Notice that when you stop adding to panic with the frightening thoughts, the fear begins to subside.

8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.

9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.

10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no hurry.

11. Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties.

Your post has so much in it. Rather than speculate, perhaps you could tell us how to help you feel less alone, less scared or less hesitant to address the issues challenging you right now.

Your posts have helped me. Thank you, and good luck!