Negative chatter is so destructive. You know, all that stuff inside your head that convinces your subconscious that "you're not good enough" or that "you don't deserve it" or that "you don't have the time" or that "dreams don't come true" and so on. All of the "would'ves," "could'ves," "should'ves," "nevers" and "always" can bring you down for days and make you doubt yourself.

An indifferent person would not care so much. By your own account, you are making progress. Lighten up a bit and reward yourself for what you have been able to accomplish. Most importantly, challenge every negative. For example, I bet you can recall many times how hard you have worked at school; and, on your writing too.

We are fallible beings. We make mistakes. We procrastinate. We get off course at times. We are human. Even so, you have struggled mightily against depression, and you are winning!

Good luck!