((((((Berries)))))
We here at PC will not abandon you!

I know what you mean about just putting on a happy face. It makes others feel more comfortable around us. I did this for years before I realized what I was doing, and still do it while out in public. (maybe not the best decision but it has become my normal). I would say that if you can't show your real face, then are they really your friends? I know this may sound harsh as it may feel that there is no one you can show your real feelings to. I have definitely gone through times like that. But my real friends and my Pdoc and T and people here at PC know the truth. You have all of those people to support you also. We want to see your real face, not a mask. We are here to support you no matter what.