Artist,

I think when a couple is just starting their lives & come together "in marriage" (not just living together), then there should be that pooling of resources. Two shall become One. When goals are common there is that need ecause you can do a lot more that way to make the marriage & each other more successful. I agree that the mine is mine, yours is yours, does nothing for a marriage at that point in life.

However, at the point where I am, 52 & after a 30 year marriage, it doesn't seem to me that I could ever go back to that philosophy. This is mostly because what's mine in MY family inheritance. I now have my inheritance that is finally allowing me to have my mental freedom. I am doing thorough research on where & how I want to live for the rest of my life given that I am paying cash for it all. My requirement to myself is to have at least several acres for my horses & dogs, a very comfortable home, a vehicle & trailer for my horses, & other misc expenses prepaid along with savings for emergencies & medical bills that seem to haunt me. I will be completely satisfied & happy knowing that I have done the best I can with what I have.

I also own my vacation condo which is a time share & can trade for any location I want to go to when not going to my first love of winter in Jackson Hole Wyoming.

Because of this, if I ever got re-married (which I doubt would ever happen), I would plan on splitting all costs....I pay my expenses & he would pay his....only 50/50 when the actual expenses couldn't be determined. I will not have enough money to support anyone other than myself from this point on...& would never expect anyone to support me because where I am going to be will be completely satisfying to me.

Most of my married life was that of a 2 engineer, upper midle class level. I lived in the better home with those fancy sports cars, suv's, skiing vacations, & travel. It was pretty much what we wanted we got.......& look where it's ending!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is so important for me to have my independence & be in control of my own life without allowing anyone to mess it up again....I know that having things beyond what I can afford isn't important to me. I honestly don't know what I would do if I found that millionaire that is hiding out there....but I would never expect him to support me because he should be taking care of his own families future inheritance and would feel really uncomfortable taking anything from a person like that.

I remember long ago dating guys that would always spend a lot of money buying me things. It only took a couple of times until I refused it because I didn't want someone trying to impress me with money & gifts. That has always been a big turn-off to me....& always will be.

Debbie