I don't actually know if this post belongs here or in the psychotherapy forum or what, but:

I've been seeing my T weekly for a year now. She's primarily a dbt therapist & in that time we've been working on the dbt skills & dealing with crises & whatever, but not started doing any trauma work.

I have one more year to work with this T who I have come to trust more than any other T I have ever had. I have a lot of trauma to work through. She has said that we will spend this year doing the trauma work, but then week after week, we keep not doing it. Is she waiting for ME to bring it up? Or does she think I'm not ready yet?

I'm scared as hell to start talking about this stuff, some of it I've never said out loud, ever. EVER. I don't even know if I can, but I know I have to. But I'm so scared, I will probably never be the one to broach the subject if she doesn't do it first. Will we waste the next year, both of us thinking about what we need to be talking about, both of us waiting for the other to bring it up?

I'm just so tired of carrying all of this all alone for all this time. I want to share it with someone. And I understand why nobody wants to share this burden, who would? But if T won't, nobody ever will. If I can't open up to her, I will not ever have a chance to share this burden, and I can't keep carrying it, it's splitting me apart.