I need to ask for some more things. Can I have someone who loves me for who I am and will hold me when I'm scared and lonely? Someone who doesn't care that I jump at loud noises and all that entails and will still love me even when I find it hard to love myself. I'm feeling so alone and sad. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to find these things. So why should I even try and look? I'm too screwed up for anyone to ever love me. I feel like I'm everyone's second string. No one ever cares about me enough to pick me first. So why try anymore? Everyone keeps saying that it will get better with the next stage of life, but they lie. Liars all of them! It just rips me away from any semblance of anything and leaves me all alone all over again.