Hi, BarbiGirl! You have a painful predicament and serious questions. I am not the one to offer advice (I'm a recluse). Others here will have good words to offer. In the meantime, here are a few "making and keeping friends" resources, realizing you'll have to winnow the grain from the chaff:

Making And Keeping Friends: A Self-Help Guide
WikiHow
CalTech Counseling
Summary Guide to Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People

Wishing you real flesh-and-blood friends