Mandy,

Please know from one who has been where you are....even with your gentle nature and unwillingness to smear your ex, let your children know that if they have questions about what they hear from their father or from their father's family, they can ask you. This allows them to come to you and ask about things that trouble them. You can choose how you want to answer the questions. My son always asked me why his father and I divorced. Instead of telling him that his father was a lazy, imature child who only became one more to raise along with my son and my husband's daughter, I told my son that his father had trouble being a grownup when I needed his help. This seemed to satisfy his curiosity and did not shine too bad a light on his dad. And also, his dad seemed to live up to it because he could never say no to his other son. LOL

Another thing: there is life after bankruptcy. Take it from me. It can be a blessing. It takes adjustment. But it does give both parties a clean slate.

I feel so much for you and your children. Please take care. Hold tight to your friends.