My mom has gone through quite a few periods of unemployment over the past few years so she's getting paid less than half of what she used to get before the company she had worked for for about 10 years went out of business. We no longer have medical insurance, which is not good, and she barely has enough in her savings anyway--I'm here at college on a full-tuition scholarship, which was INCREDIBLY fortunate, thankfully--so even if I were to tell my family, they'd have no way of paying for any sort of therapy, and I just CANNOT add to my mom's stresses. On top of everything, she's starting to go through menopause and is three-times more emotional than she's ever been (which is saying A LOT). I CAN'T cause her any more stress than she already has--I can't stand to see what that would do to her, and it'd be my fault. Plus, if the family were to find out, inevitably, the ENTIRE family would soon find out because my mom would HAVE to tell someone, and it would never be the same with the family again: perpetual, uncomfortable awkwardness and judging, pitying eyes. I don't want their judgments or their pity. Now I have no problem with religion--I feel all are valid and are worth something, but my family is EXTREMELY religious; they would ALL--and by all, I mean every single one of them--see the need to fix me by shoving religion down my throat, and while I respect their spiritual beliefs, I would NOT be able to handle the evangelistic overload on top of everything else.
I think my main goal here is to keep anyone close to me from finding out; I DO NOT want to hurt them with my selfish impulses. I CAN'T do that. They don't deserve it, and I'd just want to punish myself for causing them pain. That's not gonna happen, at least not by my own volition.