I have learned that I can be feeling suicidal but if I find some thing or some one to be present with in this moment, I can get through that moment. If I string enough of those moments together I can get through an hour. Enough hours strung together, I can through a day. And so on.... I can get through the holidays, the anniversaries, the losses, etc. I have experienced feeling joy in the depths of also feeling like I do not want to exist anymore.
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