Take a deep breathe, Jexa.

It sounds like your thoughts are spiraling.
Your T will understand.
Is there something you can do to distract yourself?
I know how hard it is to wait and wait for a response. It's awful.

Please don't be so hard on yourself, ok? Please stop beating yourself up!
I understand having a moment like that, doing something impulsive and wishing more than anything that I coudl take it back.
It will be ok.

Do you have an appt scheduled with T? Could you call T? Even if it is just a quick convo maybe that would help put your mind at ease.