I need to vent it's been a really bad weekend and a really bad day. I can't do it anymore. I have lost the will to want to live. I'm sick of the fighting and the yelling about everything. I can't have a relationship with someone that hates me.

My mom went on a 3 week break from life (vacation) in order to escape my house and all the drama that goes with it and things were so bad between us when she left and we had a huge fight the weekend that she left and didn't talk for three weeks and now that's she been home almost a week things are worse than ever and I can't do it anymore. I don't know how to make her like me and just happy and proud of me instead of questioning and yelling at every last little thing that I do in this world.

This weekend she freaked out about everything...down to the conditioner I use in my hair and I can't keep fighting about stupid crap. All her threats are getting old to. She freaked out because she I asked what I needed from the grocery store and I said pretzels and she like you can't survive on pretzels because that's what I eat during the day and that's usually it and now she's threatening to take me to a doctor and I don't even understand why.

Then she threatened to take control of my bank account and technically she can do that but it's not the right thing to do because it's the money I make for work. She always thinks I have an attitude and I'm really not trying to but sometimes it just comes off that way. I never get to say anything either. She just yells and yells and yells and never lets me say my part of the situation and it just makes me so mad.

I just want her to listen and realize that I am struggling so bad emotionally and I am loosing my mind. She doesn't even seam to care what happens to me when all she does is yell at me. Its killing me and now I do anything just to survive another day. I don't even see the point of living this way because there is no happiness. There is so much stress built up after years of living this way that one day I'm just gonna break and I don't want to hit that rock bottom. I want to fix this before things get that bad. I don't things need to get that far.

Lately I've started doing things I know I shouldn't to survive through the day but it makes things numb basically. This past weekend I took 20 Motrin over the course of two day and let me tell you things just went numb and I know that's not a good way to deal with your problems but it's so much easier because I can't talk to someone that hates me.

There's no relationship there. It's not even a hate hate relationship because it has the word relationship in the phrase. The word relationship does not even exist when you talk about the two of and us still have cupple years till I go to college so I trapped in this situation for a about two years roughly.

What should I do now because I've tried being the bigger person and just not saying anything and just avoid her but then I get yelled at for that. Then I've tried just staying in my room and I get yelled at for that because that means I'm isolating myself. I've tried writing the letters and I can't give it to her because I don't trust her at all to put my heart and sole on the line just to be yelled at for it.
Any Ideas?
Sorry I know it's long I just don't know where else I can turn...:/
Morgan