(((((((((((jexa))))))))))))

I have been in that spiraling place, and it is so not fun...

I know you said you don't want to call T, but I hope you will reconsider, if you think it might be helpful at all. I know that when I am spiraling like that, especially about the T relationship, sometimes talking to T can STOP the spiral and it's such a relief. Friday just feels like a long time to wait when you are struggling so much.