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Don't try to get water from a rock. Your mother is a rock. Maybe if she sobers up and has spent some years in recovery she MAY become capable of real love and support but I doubt it. I have a mother like yours, except mine isn't an alcoholic although she was the wife of one until he died. Then she spent all her time and energy on married men until she got too old. Now she spends all her time alone and unhappy and blaming everyone else for her unhappiness. I feel the same way about my daughter as you do about yours, and had the same problem trying to understand why my mother didn't feel about me the way I felt about my daughter. It took me a long time to accept that my mother is a very sick person and not capable of giving me love or support.
Have you ever tried attending Alanon meetings or Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings? You might find that helpful in your current situation. I did.
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