thank you! This was really validating for me. I have been avoiding dealing w/this stuff for most of my adult life, and have been able to keep it pretty well bottled up and buried for most of that time.

Then, last summer, I had an experience similar to yours where I was triggered by something, had a flashback more intense than anything I had ever experienced before, and I have felt since then that something inside me broke open that day. I haven't been able to suppress my PTSD symptoms very well at all since then, and have been flooded with new memories sometimes daily.

I still don't know what happened that day, exactly, and have gone through a lot of anger at not being able to make myself "forget" my dreams & flashbacks immediately the way I always had before. But I have come to realize that something inside me, the girl that has been sitting alone with this for all these years & decades, is refusing to be ignored any longer.

It is terrifying, but I also know that if I want to truly have a better life, a "life worth living", I have to walk through this.

It feels really good to say that. thank you!!