I am both anxious and depressed at the thought of getting older. I am on the wrong side of 25 years old and feel washed up and old. People have told me that I can pass for 23-25 years old.

These are just some of the things which have me so anxious and depressed since my birthday is less than a month away:

> No boyfriend or husband
> No children
> Still in university trying to get a degree at my old age
> When I do get married and decide to have children I will have to go on different medications so that they do not harm the fetus. I am not looking forward to the withdrawl side effects and the potential to have a manic episode...

I just feel so left behind in life. All my friends either are married with children or have something special in their lives.

I have been in the mental health care system since I was 23 years old and that was many years go.

My birthday will be depressing because it is a constant reminder that my Mom isn't alive. She passed away in Jan./99.