It takes time to get to know yourself when you have lived for others for so long. But just think:

Never have to put the toilet seat down
Can walk round naked or wearing silly clothes if you like
Can eat WHAT you want WHEN you want to
Don't have to pick your socks of the floor until you're ready to
Can watch ANYTHING you like on telly without "tutting & sighing"
Do the dishes if you want to..or not...if you don't
Can go to bed when you want to
Don't have to go shopping for womens things
Don't have to explain why you're late
Don't have to worry about what you might find if you're early

And the list goes on...

Once you start to relax and allow yourself to get to know yourself, you'll ,find it easier. And believe me it really is liberating. You'll know when you are ready for company.

In the meantime accept that no matter what choices you have made they were yours to make, good or bad. And where you are right now is exactly where you are meant to be, just before the next stage of your life opens up and you find the changes are really ok,

((((hugs))))
Rhiannon